Beware of Ides: Why Fake Deadlines Didn't Work For Me

Procrastination. It affects most of us to some extent. I know I'm not the only one who has put off important projects or had trouble completing a big project on time. I'm certainly not the only Ph.D. candidate who had trouble writing my dissertation. One friend even talked about "ironing shoelaces" as what typically happens to people writing their dissertation: they'll do any trivial and unnecessary task to get out of doing more writing on their big project.

There is also lots of advice out there for fixing procrastination. One of the techniques frequently recommended is to set personal deadlines for a project or steps within a project.

I've tried that a number of times. I tried setting deadlines for my dissertation but I was always giving myself excuses. The same thing happened with my novel. I thought I had the perfect solution--to make myself work on my novel more often, I would set a deadline every month where I had to share my progress with my husband, and he'd do the same with his writing project. Since we'd have to be able to show progress every month, I thought this would keep us from slacking off too much on our writing.

I chose the Ides (the 15th of the month, made famous as the Ides of March when Julius Caesar was killed--"Beware the Ides of March!"). It was easy to remember, had a slightly ominous sound to it (thanks to the play) and was in the middle of the month so not too close to a lot of major holidays, so it seemed perfect.

The problem is that we haven't actually kept it even once since I started this program. That's right, in the 8 months since I planned to show progress on the Ides, my husband and I have not actually shown each other any writing.

The reason? Personal deadlines like this are fake. There is no bite behind their bark. I know there are no consequences for waiting a few days (which then turns into weeks). There is nobody holding me responsible for missing the deadline. I'm used to feeling guilty over not getting something done so this doesn't add enough guilt to make a difference.

During my dissertation, the only reason I finished was that my Chair announced that I was taking too long and set me a series of deadlines. If I missed even one deadline, she said, I would be asked to leave the program. Needless to say, I worked day and night to make each deadline (sometimes barely getting the chapter in to her on time, but never, ever missing the deadline). Those deadlines were serious deadlines and I didn't think about cheating.

I don't have the same pressure on me for any deadline I set myself. My husband would never hold me to a deadline in the same serious way and I know it. The pressure isn't coming from outside and is too easy to push off.

I suspect that this idea of setting personal deadlines only works for a small percentage of the people who have problems with procrastination. For some, it works because they don't have that serious of a problem with procrastination and the little extra personal competition (feeling like you should try to beat a deadline you set) or the discipline necessary to hold to a deadline was already there. Others may have a family member or friend who will hold them to a personal deadline with the same rigidity that my dissertation Chair did with me.

Unless one of these is true, a fake deadline may not work to stop procrastination. I'm still finding the perfect tools to help with my problems. People ar different in the ways they procrastinate, so the tools which are available need to be adapted a bit for the person having the problem. I seem to respond to hard deadlines, clear to do lists, strong motivation (reminding myself why I want to do something), appointments with myself, and timers. Sometimes these things work better than others.

I'm just coming out of one of my procrastination periods where I had a harder time getting things done. Things go in cycles – with my ability to get things done improving and then getting worse again. I'm now in the upswing so it is time to get caught up. Maybe I'll eventually figure out a way to keep me from crashing down into the nonproductive time periods, but I don't think it will have anything to do with the Ides of the month.

Accomplishing a Lot – but Never Enough?

Have you ever felt like you got a lot done but still felt like you should have done better because you have so much you still need to do? I've been feeling that way a lot lately. I have been working hard on an event and getting caught up on a number of projects. I've gotten a lot done. Still, I look around at all that still needs to be done and I'm not satisfied.

I'm sure this is a common problem. It seems that many of us find it difficult to be happy with our accomplishments. There is always a way we could have been better, tried harder, done more, or whatever it is that comes to our mind. Sometimes it is true, but even if it is, we often gloss over our accomplishments to focus on what could have been.

This may be the bias our mind has for remembering the negative. There are studies that show that people tend to remember the negative more. If you give someone 5 compliments and one criticism, the criticism is the one that will stick in the mind more. In the same way, bad experiences can linger, overwhelming good ones. I know that one trip I took with my husband is like this. Although I know I had a lot of good times, there were some rough patches (our airline caused a lot of hassle and stress and my husband didn't handle it very well, which stressed me). When looking back though, I mostly remember the overall negative feeling about that vacation, which is a shame because I'd been looking forward to that trip for 10 years.

In the same way, I have been feeling like I'm not getting anything done--while accomplishing lots of stuff. While it is important for people to see that there are still things to be done (and ways to improve), it shouldn't be done at the expense of recognizing the victories as well. We need to be careful that the negative doesn't begin to overshadow our perceptions and make things seem worse than they are.

For that reason, I'm trying to pay attention to all the things I do right this week--the goals I accomplish, the projects I finish, the progress I make. I can acknowledge all the things that still need to be done or the ways I could be better, but I am working on also celebrating all that is right too.

Scares and Thrills: Not Just for Halloween

This started off as a scary week, but not because of the Halloween decorations going up. My mom ended up in the hospital. She's a baby boomer and, therefore, not that old. Both my mom and dad should have many years ahead of them since they had me fairly young. However, it is scares like this that remind you that life is never certain.

They are still running tests but so far they can't identify what is wrong with her. Hopefully that means that she will be okay but it is frightening when the doctors can't figure out what is going on with you. I've been there before for lesser things and it is a very frustrating place to be--waiting for a diagnosis.

As we approach Halloween, with its constant reminders of death and decay and humankind's fear of the unknown (including the unknown of what happens after death), this is a good time to remember that life is brief. We need to make the most of it. That includes telling your loved ones what they mean to you. You don't know when an innocent trip to a mall can end in an ambulance ride to the hospital.

Heart attacks and other illnesses can sometimes strike fast and without warning. We need to tell our loved ones NOW what they mean to us--and spend time with them while we have them. There is no telling when any of us will come to the end of our lives.

Preparing for NaNoWriMo: Writing My First Novel (again/still)

If you have never heard of NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, don't be surprised if you hear a lot about it starting in a few weeks. November is NaNoWriMo and I will be participating in it again this year, and I'm not the only one.

Every year this online event gets larger and more people hear about it. The idea is to write 50,000 words between the first day of November and the last day of the month. It doesn't have to be a great draft, or even a finished one, but it does need to meet or exceed the word count. There are no prizes, other than a great feeling and a certificate and web page badge, but you will have 50,000+ words of your novel written in a first draft, which is nothing to sneeze at, if you ask me.

I have participated several times. The first two times were during my dissertation writing phase and while I thought I could do my dissertation and my novel, I gave up on NaNoWriMo within the first two weeks or so. The third time I was going to finish but ended up uploading some nonfiction I had been writing that month (effectively "winning" the contest but not with a novel--so it was sort of a cheat).

This time I've decided to try again, with the novel that I was supposed to be writing ever since I lost my job at the end of March. I have an outline and a rough draft of the first chapter, but I will need to start fresh and try again starting November 1.

Here is my plan (and you might want to consider something like this if you decide to join the fun and write your own novel):

1. I'm going to use the next two weeks to review my character descriptions and outlines to reflect some changes I have been considering to the plot, structure, and characters. If you are starting from scratch, this is a great time to make some decisions about what sort of novel you want to write and make some notes or outlines about your plans.

2. I'm going to get some work for other projects done ahead of time (some publicity work for one of my volunteer groups which has an event in mid-November, for instance, could be prepared early, which will be good for the group and good for my ability to work on my novel).

3. I plan to set aside specific writing times where I am not allowed to look at online forums, blogs, or web comics. I am completely addicted to the internet and it is a problem.

4. I've been reading several books in the last few weeks. I will read a few more before the end of October, and think about how these books structure their plot and introduce new characters. I will also look at passages where I like the dialogue and see if I can figure out what works for these authors. I hope this will improve my own writing.

5. I will not only update my word count on the NaNoWriMo site but I'll keep an Excel spreadsheet which I had downloaded last year which allows me to track my progress and whether I am meeting my writing goals for the day.

I am hoping that this year I will be able to "win" legitimately, for the novel I planned to write when I started the month.

Are you planning on joining in on the fun? What techniques do you plan on using? Have you "won" in previous NaNoWriMo years? What helped you do so (or got in the way)? Let me know in the comments, if you are out there.

Procrastination, Self-Direction, and Identity

Yesterday I read an interesting article about procrastination which argues that we can learn a lot about people and identity by studying procrastination.

It was well written and researched, but, more importantly to me, it also struck home with me. This is probably because procrastination is the one thing which has probably caused the most problems in my life.

Procrastination may be a "basic human impulse" but it is also a terrible strain on our lives. As the article puts it, "The essence of procrastination lies in not doing what you think you should be doing, a mental contortion that surely accounts for the great psychic toll the habit takes on people."

It is true that I often procrastinate, even knowing that it won't make me happy, either in the future or even while I am doing it. I may be relaxing and enjoying that new book I wanted to read (rather than the work I need to be doing) but I won't enjoy the book as much than if I had done the work and then read the book guilt-free.

Strangely, I did disagree with two points made in the article (both on page 2). In one, the author points to a study that he says explains why in our Netflix queue we have a lot of great classics but in the short-term we are watching light comedies. He says it is because of “hyperbolic discounting," where the person's short-term considerations overwhelm their long-term goals (the light, fluffy movie presumably fulfilling the short-term goal of entertainment over the long-term goal of thinking it would be good to see the critically acclaimed but more difficult drama). I think this Netflix study, however, is tainted by the fact that people want to impress the questioner. People will tend to overreport their desire to watch "good" films (those they believe will impress others) in order to excuse their poor taste in watching the lower brow film now. This has little to do with time management and more to do with the desire to show off.

The second point which did not resonate as much with me was that procrastination was caused by “the planning fallacy.” This is where people underestimate how long a project will take so they think they have time to waste before starting. In fact, it is usually the opposite problem for me. I will be faced with a task (not terribly hard) but I will think it will take a long time and put it off ("I don't have time to deal with that now...."). I may keep delaying this important but dreaded task for quite awhile until I absolutely have to get started. Then I'll be surprised that the whole thing took less than a half hour. I could have done it when I first knew the task was on my plate and saved myself a great deal of stress and avoidance. I seldom believe things will take less time than they will (except perhaps on really big projects, like my novel, where I keep telling myself that I will be done in no time--but then I never get started and the next thing I know it is two years later and I am no further along).

Both of these reasons for procrastination end up being less compelling and persuasive than the other reasons shown (indeed, even to the author who believes that the planning fallacy relies too much on ignorance and not as much on "complex mixture of weakness, ambition, and inner conflict" which are better explanations for the problem).

Here is where the article really hit home for me:

Lack of confidence, sometimes alternating with unrealistic dreams of heroic success, often leads to procrastination, and many studies suggest that procrastinators are self-handicappers: rather than risk failure, they prefer to create conditions that make success impossible, a reflex that of course creates a vicious cycle. McClellan was also given to excessive planning, as if only the ideal battle plan were worth acting on. Procrastinators often succumb to this sort of perfectionism.

I have dreams of heroic success many times, but am well known to lack confidence in myself. I fear failure greatly and know that sometimes (with my dissertation, especially) I used procrastination as an excuse--"It was okay, but would have been better written if I had more time." I also love planning, something that has become increasingly clear to me as I write this blog. I will plan my attack on my problems but sometimes, like the past few weeks, I'll be all talk and no action. The planning alone seems to give me enough mental relief to allow me to put off the actual work I planned.

The article goes on to discuss a few solutions/ways of viewing the problem:

Divided self: if you see yourself as not a unified person but with an interior like a republic where each side of you fights for different goals, you can label one part of you the procrastinator (who wants immediate pleasure) who is debating with the part of you who wants the larger goal. Then you simply allow a negotiation to take place where both feel they win (usually by convincing the procrastinating part of you that you will enjoy the fun part more if you do the larger goal first). This sounds good, but I haven't had much luck with the idea.

Extended will: This refers to tools which force you to do things: like setting deadlines or having a program which cuts off your internet access to allow you to focus. Deadlines were the only thing that made me finally finish my dissertation, but I've learned that unless they are truly hard deadlines with real consequences, they don't help me. I tried setting deadlines with my husband but since I know there are no real consequences if I go to him and say that I don't have a chapter ready to show him, I never have a chapter ready by my deadline.

Reframing: This is something which has helped some and I want to do more. From GTD, we learn that many times we put off projects just because they seem big or vague (because we don't know what to do next). David Allen urges us to break the project down to smaller steps and concentrate on the Next Step instead of the larger picture. In the same way, narrowing our choices can sometimes make it easier to decide.

The article points out, interestingly, that all of these are a "voluntary abnegation of freedom" and I suppose that is true. Then again, much of our lives are giving up of freedom. We go to work or do things for others, giving up our freedom to do something else or do as we want all day, in order to get something (paycheck, gratitude from others, fame, etc.-- whatever it is we want). Freedom is only truly freedom when sandwiched between times when we are less free. None of us are truly free all of the time--there are always commitments to others or tasks we need to do but may not enjoy. The question is whether we can learn to give up our freedom effectively so we can do those tasks with less hassle and leave us more guilt-free time to do more enjoyable tasks and relaxation.

Can we learn to stop procrastinating as much and free our lives from its great burden? I certainly hope so. In many ways, this question defines my project for the year.

Avoidance: Another Sign That You Need Organization

I can always tell when I am in trouble. My email inbox is full. My computer desktop is filled with files. My laundry is stacked up. This will mean that I am also behind on many tasks, not organizing my bills, and avoiding work tasks. I am probably spending too much time reading things on the computer or gone on a fiction reading binge.

I've done it many times before. These are all symptoms of a larger problem--but they also are part of a vicious cycle that makes me feel even worse.

Today I've got to face it. I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed again.

The worse sign for me is avoidance. I used to do this all the time during my dissertation writing time. I know I have work to do and will even make a to do list, but then sit there doing "one more thing" for the rest of the day. This can go on for days, if I let myself, with each day the guilt piling on even higher, which, of course, makes me want to avoid the task even more.

The most frustrating thing is that sometimes the task I am avoiding ends up only taking 10 minutes. It doesn't have to be a hard task or a long one for it to build up like this. It just has to be something I am dreading--for one reason or another.

Sometimes I dread things because I really don't have a clear sense of the steps to take. Sometimes it is a task I simply do not like to do. Other times it is just something that seems large or difficult or which I worry about failing in some way.

Whatever causes the hesitation, I struggle with getting started and then with following through.

This is exactly the problem I dislike in myself the most and which I set out to find a way to fix (as much as possible) for this self-improvement project.

While I've become better at being self aware and knowing I have a problem, I have not yet truly solved it.

In other words, I've gotten better at reporting the problem exists but not in moving forward and actually doing the things I want without delay. Annoying, but true.

Productivity and "Self-Help": Admiral Ackbar and Merlin Mann say it's a trap

If you have been reading productivity, personal finance, and self-help blogs for long enough, you know there used to be a very active and cool site called 43folders, where people like myself used to go for tips on GTD (Getting Things Done) and Productivity Pron (cool aps, neat tips, etc.). It was/is run by a guy called Merlin Mann who awhile back changed everything about that blog. Instead of frequent updates it meant to occasional rants; these rants became increasingly about giving up exactly what the blog used to be all about--reading about productivity.

The latest rant is a bit hard to follow at times (and has language which may offend some readers) but it ends with an intriguing image of a recent tweet Merlin wrote: "Joining a Facebook group about creative productivity is like buying a chair about jogging."

This (and some of the other bits of the rant) struck home to me. You'll know from reading my blog that I have questioned the wisdom of getting too caught up in changing my system and making to do lists, charting my progress, etc. I've been guilty of letting the self-help get in the way of the very work I'm supposed to be doing. I've also been guilty of enjoying my RSS feed too much, even to the detriment of the novel I am supposed to be writing.

I know I am not the only one out there with this problem. I also know that the simple "just do it" statements of people like Mann don't actually motivate very well. Sure, I find myself nodding and feeling like "yes, I should turn myself around" but really I feel this way after many a "self-help" article about productivity and motivation.

There is no easy answer for this trap. Each person will find her way out of it (or not) based on the goals that drive her. I know that my journey for this year has been all about me seeking my path to being able to get work done consistently and to find work which makes me want to keep doing it.

I don't have the answers, and neither does Mann (for me at least), but we both know that reading more self-help blogs doesn't get me there. As Admiral Ackbar (and Mann) would say "It's a trap!"

6th Month Update: Out of Control Still?

It has been 6 months since my 41st birthday so I am halfway through my allotted time for this project.

In that time, I've written frequently about my desired changes and the difficulties in achieving them, but I feel like I've made little progress. Sometimes I feel like I've written more about them than I've done. Other times I remember all of the organizational work I did, the major events we worked on, and the small successes along the way. I'm not sure whether I am proud of myself or ashamed.

It's been a running theme in my blog, I find, to chastise myself for all I haven't been doing. I've spent the past two weeks planning on cleaning up the house, and instead it has gotten messier. I have allowed chores to pile up. I don't even have a good excuse for a lot of it, other than depression and stress (which are exactly the sort of thing I'm supposed to be working against with my projects).

Habits are a hard thing to change and I have a lot of bad habits. I'm addicted to being online, which is why writing in this blog is the one major success I've managed to be fairly consistent through this time. Since most of my other projects involved being offline, they've been spottier in execution. I'll go along fine for awhile but then a project will come up and I'll get busy, and the next thing I know I'm spending way too much time online and not using the time I have wisely.

I've gotten so bad, I've canceled my idea of having a monthly theme because I never seemed to do them. Instead I've been concentrating on one idea: Doing the Work. That's right, I'm not very successful about staying focused and actually finishing my work.

For next month, I will work on this even harder. I'm halfway through the year, and I would like to have more to show for it. Here's hoping that my journey will improve.

How about you? If you are on your own journey of self-improvement, what has been the most difficult and what tips do you have for solving these sorts of problems?

Small Pleasures, Needed Treasures

I just finished a slice of freshly baked banana bread. I'm happy to say that it was a particularly good slice, not suffering from dryness like some breads I have baked. I love banana bread because it uses up the over-riped bananas (which I will not eat in that state but I feel guilty to throw away because I didn't get to them when they were good); I also love it for its taste. It's a small pleasure in life.

I've been thinking about small pleasures lately. Last weekend I took some time to reread a series I like (because a new book had come out--Artemis Fowl, for the curious). I read a lot of children's fantasy books. Some people find this strange. After all, I'm a 41 year old Ph.D. with no children. However, I find that children's books (and young adult fiction, at least before the Twilight books made the YA section unreadable with goth clones) are more imaginative and interesting than many of the SciFi and Fantasy books aimed at adults. Artemis Fowl is a fun read, with an interesting take on heroes, villains, and the fairy world. Sure, it may rely a bit on fart humor occasionally, betraying its target audience, but I enjoy the books.

I hadn't been reading much for fun lately. I had quit reading for fun during the last stages of my Ph.D. because it was too distracting (I tend to get caught up in reading and be unable to stop until I finish the book, forgoing chores, tasks, and cooking dinner to read). Afterwards, I guess I was both too busy and too busy feeling guilty about not writing (how can I read a book if I don't have time to write my novel?).

It felt really good to get out a book and spend an afternoon reading something just for enjoyment. I think we all need to indulge from time to time, in moderation at least, in our favorite pastimes, whether that is reading, biking, chocolate, or whatever.

I am going to treasure my time to read, to eat the occasional banana bread slice or dark chocolate piece, and to NOT work, organize, worry, and fret. These small pleasures are the needed treasures to make life worth living.

Pushing Buttons: Family Stresses

I remember when I was writing my dissertation. I dreaded talking to family, especially my mother. She lives nearby and we talk fairly often, but I still dreaded it for one reason. She would always ask me how my dissertation was going.

This is not a bad thing to ask, of course, but it was a BIG button to push. It brought up feelings of extreme guilt and frustration. Even a simple question made me feel horrible.

I have similar feelings now when my mom asks about applying for jobs or writing my novel. I am applying for jobs but getting nowhere. I can't get an interview. I also have made no progress on my novel because I've been too caught up in tasks I promised to do for the volunteer groups I work with (I'm really overextended in these groups but don't know what to do about it).

I used to say that my mom pushes my buttons so well because she installed them.

The thing which most be remembered when this happens, though, is that the person asking the questions doesn't mean anything terrible. My reaction of irritation and guilt is all from internal sources with the question as the trigger.

I have to learn how to deal with the frustration brought about by my guilt of incomplete tasks (one of which I am in control of and one of which I have little control over, since I can't make people give me a job interview).

Snapping at my mother because she asked me those same questions (again! and again!) doesn't help.

I know from past experience that I'm not the only one who has these problems but the only solution I have so far is to remind myself that I am in control of my feelings.

Falling Behind: The Cycle Begins Again

I'm falling behind in my work. That's right, my system is breaking down yet again. My house is messy, my inbox full, my to do list overflowing, and my stress level is high.

How did I get that way? I'm not really sure. This seems to happen in a cycle pretty often.

Here are some factors which tend to lead me back:

1. Something unexpected happens: This time it was our main computer. It died. The worst part of this is we didn't have our data properly backed up. I don't know how much we lost but it worries me. The hard drive has been replaced and we have the computer back but the data may be lost forever. (Everyone, back up your data now! You'll only regret data which isn't backed up!)

2. I get busy: I have spent the past few days working for one of my volunteer groups. I have taken on too much for them, I think, and it has become difficult to keep up.

3. I took a break: Because we had a very busy weekend volunteering, I took a break on Monday. This left me with too much to do on Tues and Wed and a messy house from the stuff we had out over the weekend which has not been put back. I tell myself that I deserve a break (like on Monday) but do I deserve the guilt I feel when I look around at this mess?


I think the reason why I keep coming back to this state of disorganization and stress is because I don't really have a clear system in place yet. I have been trying to establish a routine and some organization but it isn't there yet. I have been cleaning and organizing in order to establish the system but because there is no system, I have trouble finishing the organizing before things get out of control again.

I know that under this current layer of stuff, I have the beginnings of a more organized life but I don't want it to be under layers of stuff! I need to be able to maintain a more clutter-free existence. I also need to be able to handle the volunteering I have and still have time for job applications, novel writing, etc. Right now I don't feel like I have time for these things and that is not the way this is supposed to work.

I'm going to spend today trying to get caught up again and then Friday I'm going to work on my system. If I could get a good system of planning and organizing down and stick with it, maybe I could have better control over my life. That's what I've been working towards for all of these months. I hope that I am closer to it today.

A Lazy Day: Necessity or a Cop Out?

I'm taking a lazy day today. We just had a very long weekend of volunteering and I'm tired and my feet hurt.

I have tons of things I need to do. The laundry should be started. There are things to be picked up and put away. Another volunteer group meets tomorrow night and I have 4 or 5 tasks I should finish before the meeting.

Instead of doing any of them, I've been reading, looking at forums and blogs on the internet, and eating chocolate cookies. I had a late shower this morning after waking up without an alarm clock, so I even started my morning in a lazy manner.

It's actually been fairly pleasant, although I may pay for it later when I have too much to do and only one day to do it in.

Sometimes we really need this time to decompress and relax after a lot of work.

On the other hand, sometimes this becomes an excuse to procrastinate again.

I'm telling myself that I'm decompressing and trying to enjoy it.

It will be procrastinating if I don't get the stuff done by tomorrow late morning.

I've decided that is how you tell the difference--whether the truly important and more time critical stuff does eventually get done. If so, you were just putting it off temporarily because of the need for a little relaxing.

If that relaxing keeps going and the work isn't done in time, it was just procrastinating with an excuse.

Deeds, not Words: Difficult but Important

Over at Get Rich Slowly, there is a great post about the difference between a Doer and a Talker.

This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the TV show The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. Young Indy has met a suffragette he is crazy about and her motto is "Deeds, not Words!" She constantly confronts him to do what he says, not just talk to her. For instance, saying that he loves her isn't enough if his deeds don't show it.

This gets at the heart of what is my greatest challenge--to move beyond simply saying I am going to do something and actually DOING it. I'm a great planner. I have all sorts of goals and ideas. I have a list that is a page long of stuff I'm supposedly doing, but most of them have had little to no progress.

Instead, I always have some excuse. I got busy on another project. I need to finish organizing this closet. I have to work on this. I'm too tired right now. It can wait till later. I'll just check my email first (and then maybe my RSS feed.....).

Even this blog is just all words. If I don't actually DO the stuff I talk about, my life won't get any better.

It's often hard. It's also very worthwhile.

My goal is to get better at being a "Doer" and not just a "Talker." I'll be working at that today. How about you? Just do what I'm going to do. Stop reading about doing things, and go do one thing that you've been meaning to do. Make progress on some important goal.

Be a doer. We can do it!

Progress Made: Sticking To It Till the End

I'm 90% through my sorting papers project which started about three weeks ago. The first week involved pulling out everything in the office, kitchen, dining room, and living room which didn't have a proper home or was otherwise disordered. Then I stacked everything by category. I've been sorting through categories, recycling a lot of paper and then finding homes for those papers I still need.

I'm down to just a few small sections now and am almost done. My house looks basically back to normal.

It would be easy to call it quits right now and call it a job well done, but I'm not going to do it. The whole point of this procedure was to improve things, not to bring them back to a status quo.

I think this is a temptation in many projects--to end when things are "good enough." We aim for higher but when the real work begins it can seem like finishing at 90% is a good deal. The pain that the last little bit of work brings often doesn't seem worth the effort. That's a huge mistake.

It is the last bit of effort which takes a project over the top--and pushes it into the really useful and extraordinary. I think we get too used to accepting the Pareto Principle and saying that 80% of the success comes from 20% of the effort and using this as an excuse to say that we don't need to put in the last bit of effort because we'll get diminishing returns.

That last 20% of effort is really where most of the success comes from. The Pareto principle is about making ourselves more efficient but it should not be an excuse, as it too often seems to be, to give up when 80% done. "Good enough" is not great.

I have too many unfinished/incomplete projects around my house to believe that 80% done will be satisfactory. That's why I will push to figure out that last bit of my current project. If I am right, it will make a big difference in how I see my home and how I use my papers.

Sticking to a project right through the end, now matter the time or difficulty, is the true sign of a person who will succeed.

Taking Control

For much of my single life, I'd get up and shower as soon as I was out of bed. When I got married, my husband changed a number of my habits, including my morning routine. For years now I've gotten up, had breakfast, read the paper, done computer work, and generally shower and dress as the very last thing in the morning. This often meant leaving the house with wet hair, but he preferred to get ready to leave at the last possible minute. I would try getting us going sooner, but in general the shower and dressing part of the day was always last minute. He would decide when we moved from the living room (where we live most of our day) to the bathroom and bedroom to get ready.

I'm one of those people who simply doesn't feel awake until I've showered. I also don't really want to do any work around the house until I've showered.

By delaying the shower, I would often waste time goofing off at the computer because I was waiting until he was willing to move on to the next part of the morning.

The other day I decided to change that. I took control of my own schedule. I got up on Sunday morning and showered as soon as I was up. After I got dressed, I had breakfast and read the paper. I did the same this morning.

It felt great. I was awake and alert, my hair was dry by the time I am ready to go out yesterday, and, even better, I feel like I've got control over my own time again.

I'm not really sure how we developed the routine we were in or how I had ceded control over my schedule to wait until he was ready to move on. It is especially weird since he really prefers to do work for as long as possible and resents interrupting it for showers and such. I'd rather shower and then get back to work, feeling refreshed and ready. We have opposite points of view but I was letting him decide when I did things and resenting it.

I don't know if I will continue this new schedule for every day or not. But at least I know that it was always my option to do things at my own pace. I don't have to resent things like this. I can take control and change my schedule and not have any problems. Instead of stewing over how waiting for the shower made me feel, all I had to do was take action.

Taking action can seem hard sometimes. Perhaps it is easier to think that "this is the way it has been and I can't change it" or to put the blame on other people, but for many things that bother us in life, we could make changes for the better--if we just took control and took responsibility for our own life and happiness.

Things Come Together

Sometimes things just come together. Today it feels that way, thank goodness. We are in the last day before the big event begins. The next few days will be "constant on" but today is the day for last minute errands, arrangements with vendors, printing and copying, etc. Thank goodness it has been fairly smooth so far.

This is a good reminder to me that sometimes I worry and panic without need. I thought things were going to be much worse off today than it has been so far. It almost makes me nervous that things are smooth still.

I'm going to keep this post (and Friday's) short because the event must take my attention right now, but here's hoping that sometimes things just come together okay.

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Women

A year ago, when we first started planning this event, it all seemed so simple. I knew it was going to be a lot of work, of course. I had, at least, done similar things before--although it was at college, so I had a support team of fellow graduate students to run the event with me, plus the school arranged rooms and such for us fairly easily, so one didn't need to deal with that mess. Still, it didn't seem out of the range of possibility to run (and finance) an event for 100 people with just two people working on it part time.

Perhaps you can see where this post is going. It is, indeed, hard to do a big event with just two people, even two people who spend a majority of their time on it for the past 3 months of unemployment. There is a lot to do, publicity-wise, arrangement-wise, planning-wise, etc. And everything costs more than you expect, even when you priced it a year ago.

I priced a bus tour last year. I made one or two calls, considered that good enough, and tacked on a small amount for other costs and divided by the number of people I thought we would get. That became the price we charged per person for the tour. Of course, I didn't actually book the bus then. No, I waited. Last month I started calling around but now the price seemed to be double what I had in my notes last year. Plus we didn't get as many people and there is an economy of scale which happens with buses. If you are just large enough of a group to not fit in one bus, you rent the larger and more expensive bus. But if you are JUST one person over the size for the smaller bus, the bigger bus is really too expensive for such a small group. There never seems to be a medium sized bus.

Today I rented a van for our event. It is not the same as having a tour bus but our people will just have to survive. They are getting a nice tour at a cheap price and we simply can't afford to lose that much money with a bus, especially unemployed as we are.

I called this post "The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Women" but really I don't think I had the best laid plans at all. I fooled myself into thinking I had planned, but really I should have done much more, both when initially pricing and then, finally, in booking. I should have started sooner and done more. That has been true of so many things throughout this event. I've learned a great deal. One thing I've learned is that planning a big event takes time, and there are many things I should have done 4 months ago which I wish I had done.

Like the poor mouse in the Robert Burns poem, my plans have gone awry. Things are not always going as I want. That seems to be the way of things. But one thing which might have helped is starting earlier.

The "After the Event" Letdown

I'm exhausted. I'm tired and achy. My face feels sunburned even though it doesn't look like it is and I'm dying of thirst.

What happened? A big event. Since I live on the West Coast of the U.S.A., yesterday was a big day--our Independence Day.

I volunteer with two groups which together put on a big to-do for the Fourth of July. We had over 2000 people there yesterday, enjoying themselves.

I had fun but it was very tiring. Today I woke up exhausted.

It made me think about the inevitable letdown one often feels after a big event. I have a big event I'm in charge of that goes in less than two weeks time. It is taking up most of my time and energy (what I have of it, that is).

Naturally, after such an event is over, there is the physical and mental exhaustion (I'm feeling that today for an event where I was only a worker, not in charge). But more than that, we've been working on this event for months, and since I lost my job, it has been the main focus of my days.

When it is over, two weeks from today, I may have some mixed feelings about it. Hopefully, I'll be basking in the glory of accomplishment (rather than stewing about its failure) but I'll also be tired and a bit letdown. This has been the main focus of my time--and it will be gone. I'll have to move on to other things (I've been saying, "After the 18th, I'll..." for quite awhile).

Today, I am wondering not only how to make the event a success but how to survive the days that will follow it. Does anyone have tips for picking oneself up and starting fresh after a big event is done and how to manage both the emotional and physical exhaustion which is sure to come from three days of long and difficult work like this?

Days Flying By and Procrastination

I've noticed that I don't have enough time. Actually, I wonder if anyone ever feels like they have enough. The only time we complain about too much time is when we are stuck somewhere doing something boring and time seems to drag. The rest of our lives we complain about the lack of time.

I look up and it's already the middle of the week and I can't believe it.

This is partly because I really do have a lot to do and partly because that, in stressing over how much I have to do, I've been procrastinating on a number of tasks I need to do.

This is, of course, the worse thing I can do when I am lacking in time. It makes no sense to put off doing work and spend time looking at inconsequential things on the internet when you have several important deadlines coming up and you are behind on several projects.

I've done this before and I have concluded that it is a stress mechanism. I do this when I am stressed. The problem is that it tends to increase my stress in the long run. It is not a productive reaction to a lack of time.

I know I am not alone in using procrastination and general goofing off as a stress reliever during long and difficult projects with fast approaching deadlines.

Does anyone have suggestions on what I can do to make things better?

Weekends and Unemployment/Self Employment: Parkinson's Law and the Weekend

When you are working full time, you look forward to the weekends. Ah, TGIF, we say to each other with a grin. Weekends are our time to get caught up on tasks at home, pursue hobbies, spend time with family, go out and have fun, etc. It's the only real "me time" you might get during the week.

I've been unemployed for three months now and mostly doing volunteer work and event planning for little to no pay. However, what I have discovered (or rediscovered from the last time I worked from home) is that weekends are no different than weekdays if you are working from home, working for yourself, or unemployed.

I work on projects all day long. I continue to work on projects on my computer after dinner. I will work on projects on Saturday and Sunday too. The days of the week don't matter. The only thing that matters is getting the work done.

When you don't have defined work hours, it is easy for your work to expand to all of the hours you have. This is sometimes referred to as "Parkinson's Law." I find it to be very true.

What is funny is that I don't mind when it is something I care about. If you are passionate about your cause, working at weird times feels natural. After all, you WANT to be doing this task.

I didn't care about my last job. It was a paycheck, nothing more. I went into work at 8am and left at 4pm. I ate lunch at my desk so that I could leave promptly at 4pm and still charge my eight hours. I was a clock watcher.

I had taken the job because I had been unemployed (and my husband was too) and in debt and I needed work. My husband and I accepted job offers the same week and went back to work. It was the first job in an office cubicle in years. I had been a teacher. As a college teacher, my schedule was quite flexible, varied by semester, and was partly self-dictated.

I had forgotten what it was like to be chained to working at certain hours of the day. It felt unnatural, especially in a windowless room in a building set in a park next to the water. Every morning I would see this beautiful setting and then go through a door and enter BEIGE. I had some decorations in my cube, but the rest of the office was essentially undecorated beige.

It was the most depressing place I've ever worked. Add to that the horrible coworkers and the work subject matter, and I was unhappy for the whole year I was there. I stayed for the paycheck and because I was applying for other jobs with absolutely no luck.

I applied for another job today but I've had only one interview in three months. Tough times out there. So I continue to work on my passions--at odd hours of the day.

Parkinson's Law isn't so bad when it is work you like. If you are being paid for your work, the work is unpleasant, or you need to increase your efficiency, then being conscious of Parkinson's Law becomes important--so that you decrease the amount of time you give yourself for your work and don't let it creep up on you. Deadlines are our friend. I found that out with my dissertation. I could have worked on that for the rest of my life, had I not had deadlines imposed on me from the outside.

Do you long for the weekend? Is there a difference between your workday and weekend schedule (if you are in charge of your hours)? Any tips for using Parkinson's Law to our advantage? Let me know in the comments.