Monday, August 16, 2010

Taking Control

For much of my single life, I'd get up and shower as soon as I was out of bed. When I got married, my husband changed a number of my habits, including my morning routine. For years now I've gotten up, had breakfast, read the paper, done computer work, and generally shower and dress as the very last thing in the morning. This often meant leaving the house with wet hair, but he preferred to get ready to leave at the last possible minute. I would try getting us going sooner, but in general the shower and dressing part of the day was always last minute. He would decide when we moved from the living room (where we live most of our day) to the bathroom and bedroom to get ready.

I'm one of those people who simply doesn't feel awake until I've showered. I also don't really want to do any work around the house until I've showered.

By delaying the shower, I would often waste time goofing off at the computer because I was waiting until he was willing to move on to the next part of the morning.

The other day I decided to change that. I took control of my own schedule. I got up on Sunday morning and showered as soon as I was up. After I got dressed, I had breakfast and read the paper. I did the same this morning.

It felt great. I was awake and alert, my hair was dry by the time I am ready to go out yesterday, and, even better, I feel like I've got control over my own time again.

I'm not really sure how we developed the routine we were in or how I had ceded control over my schedule to wait until he was ready to move on. It is especially weird since he really prefers to do work for as long as possible and resents interrupting it for showers and such. I'd rather shower and then get back to work, feeling refreshed and ready. We have opposite points of view but I was letting him decide when I did things and resenting it.

I don't know if I will continue this new schedule for every day or not. But at least I know that it was always my option to do things at my own pace. I don't have to resent things like this. I can take control and change my schedule and not have any problems. Instead of stewing over how waiting for the shower made me feel, all I had to do was take action.

Taking action can seem hard sometimes. Perhaps it is easier to think that "this is the way it has been and I can't change it" or to put the blame on other people, but for many things that bother us in life, we could make changes for the better--if we just took control and took responsibility for our own life and happiness.

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